Note to Self:

This has been my mantra for the day... that is, once I got over the disappointment that Dante's not making his debut today. Today was my hope/guess day that I set about 4 months ago.  Back in September, when I decided that I wanted to start trying to get pregnant, I told Mike that I didn't want to have to carry past June. I didn't want to carry past June for selfish purposes...like it's hot in July. As time went on I came up with even more reasons, and one day I said "Dante's going to be born on June 28th". After talking with the nurse midwife about how boys tend to want to stay in as long as they can and how the majority of women in Utah carry their first baby about 5 days late, I'm beginning to think we might not make it to "Thanksgiving in July" with the Polads, which happens to be one of my favorite family traditions. =\

After getting over my disappointment, I realized that sometimes we (and I really mean I) get too wrapped up in stuff that's not that important. (He'll get here eventually. The sooner the better, but it doesn't have to be today.) I've been preparing stuff thinking "okay, if I get this last thing done, we'll be ready and he wont have an excuse not to come!" The swing and stroller are put together, car seat bases are installed, hospital bag is packed, D's clothes are washed and put away. We're ready! He's not so much. My mom carried me 10 days past her due date and I decided to come after they bought my car seat. I figured if D is anything like me, he's going to wait until things are all set to go. I've tried to avoid thinking he's unpunctual and stubborn like me. I'm not due yet, so I can't say he's stubborn, but he's not much of a people pleaser either. I guess if his own mom can't push him around, no one can- a sign of a strong-willed "do it when I'm ready to" kind of kid.

After being disappointed, I've decided that I'm done stressing about it because I know I'll look back at these last days of pregnancy and regret  that I wished for it to be over so soon. I hate being pregnormous with my swollen ankles and feet that actually have fat rolls, and the restless nights where I wake up several times a night because it takes all of my effort to roll myself over into a new sleeping position. I hate peeing 16 times a day, the dull backache and the constant cramps I've been having for the past couple of days. But I'm not going to be frustrated about it. Instead I'm going to enjoy watching D move around in my belly, especially when he hiccups and stretches his legs out. I'm going to spend my free time imagining that he has chubby cheeks, Mike's nose and a TON of dark hair. When people say things about my pregnancy, I'm going to chat their ear off talking about how awesome he's going to be. I'm also going to indulge in the things that have made me 42 pounds heavier like brownies, M&M Mini's, and whatever other tasty treats I have in this house because once Dante gets here, it's the less-anticipated reunion with the 80/20 rule (think In-N-Out single protein style, no fries) and "sayonara" to over-indulgence (In-N-Out double meat with fries and a shake).

Tonight, we're going to In-N-Out (to enjoy that double meat, fries and shake) and then we're going to watch a movie together on the long couch. He doesn't know this yet, but we're not going to worry about work, homework, housework or any other kind of work. We're not going to talk about D...as much as we normally do.  We're just going to relax and be us- Mike and Cassi, this really fun, kind of silly couple pictured below: