Note to Self:

This has been my mantra for the day... that is, once I got over the disappointment that Dante's not making his debut today. Today was my hope/guess day that I set about 4 months ago.  Back in September, when I decided that I wanted to start trying to get pregnant, I told Mike that I didn't want to have to carry past June. I didn't want to carry past June for selfish purposes...like it's hot in July. As time went on I came up with even more reasons, and one day I said "Dante's going to be born on June 28th". After talking with the nurse midwife about how boys tend to want to stay in as long as they can and how the majority of women in Utah carry their first baby about 5 days late, I'm beginning to think we might not make it to "Thanksgiving in July" with the Polads, which happens to be one of my favorite family traditions. =\

After getting over my disappointment, I realized that sometimes we (and I really mean I) get too wrapped up in stuff that's not that important. (He'll get here eventually. The sooner the better, but it doesn't have to be today.) I've been preparing stuff thinking "okay, if I get this last thing done, we'll be ready and he wont have an excuse not to come!" The swing and stroller are put together, car seat bases are installed, hospital bag is packed, D's clothes are washed and put away. We're ready! He's not so much. My mom carried me 10 days past her due date and I decided to come after they bought my car seat. I figured if D is anything like me, he's going to wait until things are all set to go. I've tried to avoid thinking he's unpunctual and stubborn like me. I'm not due yet, so I can't say he's stubborn, but he's not much of a people pleaser either. I guess if his own mom can't push him around, no one can- a sign of a strong-willed "do it when I'm ready to" kind of kid.

After being disappointed, I've decided that I'm done stressing about it because I know I'll look back at these last days of pregnancy and regret  that I wished for it to be over so soon. I hate being pregnormous with my swollen ankles and feet that actually have fat rolls, and the restless nights where I wake up several times a night because it takes all of my effort to roll myself over into a new sleeping position. I hate peeing 16 times a day, the dull backache and the constant cramps I've been having for the past couple of days. But I'm not going to be frustrated about it. Instead I'm going to enjoy watching D move around in my belly, especially when he hiccups and stretches his legs out. I'm going to spend my free time imagining that he has chubby cheeks, Mike's nose and a TON of dark hair. When people say things about my pregnancy, I'm going to chat their ear off talking about how awesome he's going to be. I'm also going to indulge in the things that have made me 42 pounds heavier like brownies, M&M Mini's, and whatever other tasty treats I have in this house because once Dante gets here, it's the less-anticipated reunion with the 80/20 rule (think In-N-Out single protein style, no fries) and "sayonara" to over-indulgence (In-N-Out double meat with fries and a shake).

Tonight, we're going to In-N-Out (to enjoy that double meat, fries and shake) and then we're going to watch a movie together on the long couch. He doesn't know this yet, but we're not going to worry about work, homework, housework or any other kind of work. We're not going to talk about D...as much as we normally do.  We're just going to relax and be us- Mike and Cassi, this really fun, kind of silly couple pictured below:

I Kind of Love These Lyrics...

***Walt Grace's Submarine Test, 1967***- John Mayer

There's so much doubt going on right now. People doubting other people. People doubting me. Me doubting people. Me doubting myself. These lyrics reminds me that YOU JUST HAVE TO KEEP GOING and do your thing, no matter what others say. You, like Walt Grace are in charge of your destiny. You give up, you're going to get nowhere. Keep chugging along, as hard as it may be and you will find your "Tokyo"- something that brings happiness to your life. Something to be proud of.


Walt Grace, desperately hating this whole place
Dreamed to discover a new space and buried himself alive
Inside his basement
Tongue on the side of his face meant
He's working away on displacement
And what it would take to survive
Because when you're done with this world
You know the next is up to you

And his wife told his kids he was crazy
And his friends said he'd fail if he tried
But with the will to work hard and a library card
He took a homemade, fan blade, one-man submarine ride

That morning the sea was mad and I mean it
Waves as big as he'd seen it deep in his dreams at home
From dry land, he rolled it over to wet sand
Closed the hatch up with one hand
And pedaled off alone
Because when you're done with this world
You know the next is up to you

And for once in his life, it was quiet
As he learned how to turn in the tide
And the sky was aflare when he came up for air
In his homemade, fan blade, one-man submarine ride

One evening, when weeks had passed since his leaving
The call she planned on receiving finally made it home
She accepted the news she never expected
The operator connected the call from Tokyo
Because when you're done with this world
You know the next is up to you

Now his friends bring him up when they're drinking
At the bar with his name on the side
And they smile when they can, as they speak of the man
Who took a homemade, fan blade, one-man submarine ride

Place Your Bets!

We keep bringing this up, so we thought it would be fun to do. Tell us when you think Dante will be born! 

Dante's official due date is July 11th. 

Here are a few guesses:

Me: June 28th
Mike: July 9th
Karen: July 9th
Ryan: June 26th or 28th
Kelsie: July 11th
Delmy: July 1st- Not an official guess, but she said "Two weeks. No sooner... Hold it!"
Oleah: July 4th
Jackie: July 7th
Kayja: July 15th (my nurse midwife told me to plan for this day too)
Janelle: July 4th
Carol Lee: July 3rd or 6th
Danna: July 8th
Scott: July 14th


Submit your guess on Facebook and I'll update it here. If you're right, you win a bag of candy. =)

When your feet look like this, you can only hope for an early birthday!

Babies on the Brain!

I know July is coming quick! You know how I know? 4 of my friends that were due in June have had their babies, and another is getting close.  I can't help but get excited about my little guy getting here, when I see all of the pictures of my friend's cute babies!
Even Mike's had the little man on his mind a lot lately. He woke up Sunday morning and the first thing he said is "I kept dreaming about Dante last night." He mentioned how in his dreams, it was past our due date and he still wasn't here and we were just laying in bed waiting for things to start happening... Let's hope that doesn't happen. Ha!

I've been doing my exercises to try to get D to turn. (Little guy is comfy-cozy in his transverse presentation).

Inversions...

Music and a different inversion

Bach...I could tell he loves Bach, because he got all wiggly, but stayed in the same spot!

Swamming... I even did a few hand stands in the water.
(You don't know how hard it is to hold your breath with a baby sitting on your lungs!)

On Sunday, it seemed like he turned. My belly even looked different...but then he turned back that night just before bed. Monday, I woke up from a nap, sat up and felt a hard bump at the top of my belly with a nice line down the right side of my belly. I was pretty sure he turned. Today, I have determined that he is back in transverse. I have two bumps at the top of my belly and all of the movement (kicks, squirms, etc) are all at the top. He probably looks something like the "shoulder" image on the far right-shown here:

It's hard not to get a little stressed out. We have the version (they'll basically try to push him into position) scheduled for a week from today, but that's only known to be 65% effective IF they they can turn him without causing stress during the procedure. Sure, he can turn all the way up until the point I go into labor, and if allowed possibly beyond that. However, I was told that if the version doesn't work, they will schedule a c-section. I've tried to stay positive and open to the idea of having a c-section if he wont turn... but I'm not going to lie...

1. I don't do well with doing something because I have to. It's just my personality. 

2. The procedure, though 30% of moms are having them, COMPLETELY terrifies me.  I don't like the thought of an epidural, I don't like the thought of them tearing through my fat, muscle and uterus and then stitching it all back together! 

3. I don't like the idea that if this happens, I will not get to get up right away. Instead, I'll be confined to a hospital bed until I can feel my legs again, and even then, whose to say how long it will take to recover. Did I mention that I read that they have to do a "classical" incision (vertical) if baby is transverse? This decreases your ability to have a VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean) for future births. All I have to say is "this kid better turn so that I can have a normal delivery, PLEASE!"

Anyway, enough ranting about that...I had a fantastic baby shower Saturday! We had about 30 people show up. My parent's basement was at max capacity! It was SO fun to get to see everyone. We played some games, enjoyed some food and had a great time. I have pictures, but they didn't upload correctly. GAH! I also had a fun surprise baby shower at work yesterday. I felt really bad because I didn't notice right away.  I walked into our little room where we were supposedly having a "breakfast potluck/mini-calibration" and was surprised to find the room decorated and adorned with gifts. I wasn't feeling well and trying to get in touch with my NMW (My BP was higher than normal...I'm fine now), so it took a minute of looking around the room to realize what was going on.  Dante is already a spoiled little guy!

Aaanywaaaaaay, that's pretty much it! Lot's of baby stuff and this is only the beginning!

Buh Bye Stinky Floor!!!

After 2 years, we finally got our new floors installed. My stepdad was so kind to help us out with the skill and materials needed to get it done! 

This was before we first moved in. I have a solid hatred for the woman that messed with my kitchen. In these pictures, it doesn't look so bad, but I have to tell you that it is pretty gnarly when you get up close. There are drip marks down the cabinet doors from the stain she put on them. The floors are kind of snazzy, but they're impossible to keep clean. As soon as you wash them, they are dirty again... 

Again, before we moved in. 

This is how the kitchen looked just after we pulled out the table. You can't see all the pug hair that is laying on the floor.

Getting started...

This is Scott pulling up the peel n' stick tiles AND the ugly vinyl floor below it...

Mike putting in some effort too...

This is with it all gone...

So we have the black peel n' stick layer, the ugly vinyl...

The subfloor, ANOTHER layer of ugly vinyl and then the actual floor.
Favorite quote of this project: "My haus is like an onion! It has layers!"-Mike

Floors are in! After seeing the floors, I think we need to give the kitchen counter tops and those awful cabinets some love. It's probably going to be a while but we'll get there... 

4 Weeks and 6 Days To Go!

 I told you that I wouldn't know what to do with all the time on my hands once the internship was over... I wanted to put these on my Tumblr, but Tumblr doesn't allow you to post multiple pictures in one post. Soooo, now it's back to the ol' blog, which hasn't been updated in forever. Looking back on those old posts, it kind of baffles me to see how things change just over a few years.

Aaaaannnnnyyyway... The real reason for the post today: 

I wanted to give you a little idea of what is coming.

This is a picture of Franklin holding Mike just after he was born...Check out his hair!!

This is a picture of my dad holding me just after I was born. Tender, huh? 
And again...check out the hair!! 

I hope Dante has Mike's smile... SO CUTE!!! =D 

I'm thinking Dante is going to be born with some amazing hair! 

Sooooo excited to meet the little man who lives in my belly! 

Our New Home (This was FOREVER ago!!!)

I have a bit of updating to do...

Mike and I got pre-qualified for a house in November 2009. We didn't want to miss out on the tax credit, so we started looking for homes right away. We put 2 offers on two other homes and they didn't go through for different reasons.

In January, we had tuition of $2200 and we weren't sure that we could buy a home. We began looking at luxury apartments. I really felt like we couldn't miss this tax credit. Interest rates were at the lowest they have ever been. I started researching other down payment options. Lucky for us, I found Utah Housing!

Utah Housing offered a no-down payment program, where you pay your down payment through a loan on a second mortgage. It adds about $30 a month to your mortgage payment.

As we continued looking, we weren't having much luck. I was beginning to get discouraged. Everything we liked was out of our price range. Alot of the homes we looked at were projects. Then one day....

We found our house!

These are pictures that were taken after our offer was accepted! (A lot has changed since then!)